There is a Way
Summary
Summary
I was born into a Jewish family in 1939. At age 6, I became deeply aware of the Jewish Holocaust, and its horror shaped much of the rest of my life. This led me to begin to wonder what was at the root of the way we humans have harmed one another throughout history, and to embark on a quest to find a way to do something about it.
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I became active, almost full time, in the Peace Movement with the Committee for Non-Violent Action and the War Resisters League (WRL) beginning in the late 1950s. At that time, Bayard Rustin, the Executive Secretary of the WRL, had replaced Bertrand Russell as my hero and role model, while becoming somewhat of a mentor to me.
The Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962 was quite traumatic and transformative for me. I was up all that night not knowing whether we would see the dawn. Soon after, I decided to stop responding to one crisis after another with protests that I felt had no real hope of being effective. It became clear to me that governments manifest the collective consciousness of their people, and that real change must happen at the level of consciousness. My questions became: How do we shift consciousness? What is the root work? What must I do within myself to become a vehicle for peace? What must I do in working with others? How do we grow our relationships and our organizations to impact collective consciousness at a global scale? |
When I moved to San Francisco in 1964, Bayard appointed me as the WRL representative to the West Coast, and suggested that I get in touch with Joan Bondurant, author of Conquest of Violence, who was then teaching at UC Berkeley. The book profoundly informed my understanding of what Gandhi meant by Satyagraha — applying the force of truth non-violently in service of social change. I began working to oppose the war in Vietnam, organized the first West Coast demonstrations against the war, and opened a West Coast branch of the WRL.
I became interested in psychedelics as a possible gateway to transform our collective consciousness in 1966, which led to my becoming: involved with the emerging movement in the Haight Ashbury. I had the opportunity to become one of the primary organizers of the Summer of Love concerts in Golden Gate Park; and as a manager of the Grateful Dead I became close friends with Jerry Garcia and Bob Weir. I resigned from the WRL.
In 1969, I had concluded that I had nothing more to learn from psychedelics, and that in order to do the work before me, I needed to find a way to allow great power and energy to flow though me without the energy being wrongly directed by flaws in my ego or personality; to not crave or seek power, but have it flow though me in service to humanity. I decided I needed to find a spiritual teacher, and attended a wonderful event called “A Holy Man Jam at the Family Dog on the Great Highway” at which I decided to follow Yogi Bhajan.
I soon began a 2½ hour morning yoga practice, becoming a yoga teacher and a yoga teacher trainer, which I have continued for close to fifty years. While I continue my practice and training, a recent book brought to light serious allegations of inappropriate and abusive behavior by Yogi Bhajan. There does not seem to be any question that he engaged in abuse of young women, though how that could coexist within himself while also being such a powerful teacher is still beyond my understanding. There is so much grief and pain around this. I have
pretty much left the organization of which I was a significant leader and have turned to the work I have put forward in my book.
In 1987, I founded Creating Our Future as a social change action and training organization for high school students, which became a nationwide organization. Board members included Ram Dass, Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir, Joanna Macy, Marc Kasky and Chellis Glendinning. There was a founding adult board and a student board as well. Through deep listening practices, modeled by Joanna at our weekend workshops, I become aware for the first time of sexual abuse of young girls, and the consequent impact on their lives. As the father of three teenage girls, I was shocked and deeply moved to be able (by grace) to come to find a way to help heal these wounds.
In time, I began to become aware of the broader extent of childhood, inner wounds from physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, non-abuse related childhood wounds, and the consequent impact of the imbedded stories of these inner wounds on people’s lives. This led to my understanding where such expressions as, “I don’t deserve, I’m not (good) enough, I’m bad, I’m not safe, nothing will ever work out, etc.” come from, and I resolved to find a way to address these wound stories. My search did not lead me to anything existent at the time that seemed adequate to address the depth of these wounds.
I began to pray and meditate, to open myself to inner guidance for how to help people heal from these wounds. A kind of revelation manifested after some years of reflection, and I began to lead what I called Self Worth workshops based on those principles and practices. I traveled widely for 15 years in the U.S. and Europe, leading over 2,000 Self Worth journeys, mostly within small group workshops, but also in 3-hour individual sessions, and occasionally also led quite large workshops with hundreds of participants that, of course, did not go quite so deep. I heard people’s wound stories, their locked away shameful secrets and deepest fears. I fully opened myself each time and shared their pain from a place of deep empathy. The workshops clearly helped people heal themselves, and I began to train others to lead them.
I had no idea that in finding a way to help heal inner wounds, I would find what I have come to believe is the key to answering my own, life-long core questions: What fills so many of us with fear, lack of self-esteem, self-loathing and mistrust? What produces the anger and hatred that leads us to hurt others, ourselves, and just about everything around us? What creates the impulse in so many men to be violent? Why do so many of us manage to go through life without feeling love and concern for the well-being of others? What happens to us that allows us to run businesses and governments without caring about the harm we do to others and to our planet?
An important answer I have learned from listening to people’s stories is that we almost all come into the world innocent, without sin or guilt, regardless of place, race, culture, religion, or class. We come into the world ready to trust and ready to love and be loved. It is being deeply wounded in childhood, generally by severe physical and emotional abuse, and, sometimes, by external circumstances, that people lose their capacity to love and to trust, and, all too frequently, wind up being moved by fear, hate, anger and rage, that can so often lead to misogyny, racism, xenophobia, war, and extreme violence.
Leading many workshops in Germany, I began to share my thoughts about anger and violence as a result of severe physical and emotional abuse. My students there suggested that I take a look at the work of Alice Miller, who explored the connection between German/Prussian pedagogical practices, which she found went back at least 250 years, and the rise of fascism there. Reading her words, the first I had seen that resonated powerfully with what I had been thinking, provided an epiphany for me.
I came to understand the compelling relationship between physical and emotional punishment of children and hateful anger, greed, xenophobia, violence, and war. What a revelation it was after so many years to discover the key I had been looking for in a place where I did not expect to find it! This recognition changed the focus of my life. I came to know at a core and gut level that if we are ever to have a peaceful world, it will be through ending child abuse and recognizing the integrity and personhood of children.
The chaos and perilousness of these times make the challenge before us starkly clear, even if immensely challenging and likely long term: either awaken to the need to change how we raise our children or accept a world of growing hatred. As the primary proposition of my book points out, we can now come to understand that the roots of human malice are primarily the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse of children. The affliction of racism, xenophobia, and oppression will continue to fester nationally and globally until we are able to change the way we raise our children. We know that it is possible — challenging, but possible — to bring an end to corporal punishment and emotional abuse of children by awakening humanity to the critical need and capacity to raise our children with kindness and compassion.
I cannot be content to present my analysis of this important issue without offering my best understanding of how to do something about it. The chapter of my book titled, Working Effectively for Change, provides important tools to do so. Plus, I intend to establish a new version of Creating Our Future, this time for both students and adults. I see the founding of a new version of Creating Our Future (a social change action/training organization for students), and forging partnerships with allies already doing this work, as an integral part of building a movement that can begin to bring an end the practice of corporal punishment and other forms of child abuse around the world.
Core Points
I became interested in psychedelics as a possible gateway to transform our collective consciousness in 1966, which led to my becoming: involved with the emerging movement in the Haight Ashbury. I had the opportunity to become one of the primary organizers of the Summer of Love concerts in Golden Gate Park; and as a manager of the Grateful Dead I became close friends with Jerry Garcia and Bob Weir. I resigned from the WRL.
In 1969, I had concluded that I had nothing more to learn from psychedelics, and that in order to do the work before me, I needed to find a way to allow great power and energy to flow though me without the energy being wrongly directed by flaws in my ego or personality; to not crave or seek power, but have it flow though me in service to humanity. I decided I needed to find a spiritual teacher, and attended a wonderful event called “A Holy Man Jam at the Family Dog on the Great Highway” at which I decided to follow Yogi Bhajan.
I soon began a 2½ hour morning yoga practice, becoming a yoga teacher and a yoga teacher trainer, which I have continued for close to fifty years. While I continue my practice and training, a recent book brought to light serious allegations of inappropriate and abusive behavior by Yogi Bhajan. There does not seem to be any question that he engaged in abuse of young women, though how that could coexist within himself while also being such a powerful teacher is still beyond my understanding. There is so much grief and pain around this. I have
pretty much left the organization of which I was a significant leader and have turned to the work I have put forward in my book.
In 1987, I founded Creating Our Future as a social change action and training organization for high school students, which became a nationwide organization. Board members included Ram Dass, Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir, Joanna Macy, Marc Kasky and Chellis Glendinning. There was a founding adult board and a student board as well. Through deep listening practices, modeled by Joanna at our weekend workshops, I become aware for the first time of sexual abuse of young girls, and the consequent impact on their lives. As the father of three teenage girls, I was shocked and deeply moved to be able (by grace) to come to find a way to help heal these wounds.
In time, I began to become aware of the broader extent of childhood, inner wounds from physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, non-abuse related childhood wounds, and the consequent impact of the imbedded stories of these inner wounds on people’s lives. This led to my understanding where such expressions as, “I don’t deserve, I’m not (good) enough, I’m bad, I’m not safe, nothing will ever work out, etc.” come from, and I resolved to find a way to address these wound stories. My search did not lead me to anything existent at the time that seemed adequate to address the depth of these wounds.
I began to pray and meditate, to open myself to inner guidance for how to help people heal from these wounds. A kind of revelation manifested after some years of reflection, and I began to lead what I called Self Worth workshops based on those principles and practices. I traveled widely for 15 years in the U.S. and Europe, leading over 2,000 Self Worth journeys, mostly within small group workshops, but also in 3-hour individual sessions, and occasionally also led quite large workshops with hundreds of participants that, of course, did not go quite so deep. I heard people’s wound stories, their locked away shameful secrets and deepest fears. I fully opened myself each time and shared their pain from a place of deep empathy. The workshops clearly helped people heal themselves, and I began to train others to lead them.
I had no idea that in finding a way to help heal inner wounds, I would find what I have come to believe is the key to answering my own, life-long core questions: What fills so many of us with fear, lack of self-esteem, self-loathing and mistrust? What produces the anger and hatred that leads us to hurt others, ourselves, and just about everything around us? What creates the impulse in so many men to be violent? Why do so many of us manage to go through life without feeling love and concern for the well-being of others? What happens to us that allows us to run businesses and governments without caring about the harm we do to others and to our planet?
An important answer I have learned from listening to people’s stories is that we almost all come into the world innocent, without sin or guilt, regardless of place, race, culture, religion, or class. We come into the world ready to trust and ready to love and be loved. It is being deeply wounded in childhood, generally by severe physical and emotional abuse, and, sometimes, by external circumstances, that people lose their capacity to love and to trust, and, all too frequently, wind up being moved by fear, hate, anger and rage, that can so often lead to misogyny, racism, xenophobia, war, and extreme violence.
Leading many workshops in Germany, I began to share my thoughts about anger and violence as a result of severe physical and emotional abuse. My students there suggested that I take a look at the work of Alice Miller, who explored the connection between German/Prussian pedagogical practices, which she found went back at least 250 years, and the rise of fascism there. Reading her words, the first I had seen that resonated powerfully with what I had been thinking, provided an epiphany for me.
I came to understand the compelling relationship between physical and emotional punishment of children and hateful anger, greed, xenophobia, violence, and war. What a revelation it was after so many years to discover the key I had been looking for in a place where I did not expect to find it! This recognition changed the focus of my life. I came to know at a core and gut level that if we are ever to have a peaceful world, it will be through ending child abuse and recognizing the integrity and personhood of children.
The chaos and perilousness of these times make the challenge before us starkly clear, even if immensely challenging and likely long term: either awaken to the need to change how we raise our children or accept a world of growing hatred. As the primary proposition of my book points out, we can now come to understand that the roots of human malice are primarily the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse of children. The affliction of racism, xenophobia, and oppression will continue to fester nationally and globally until we are able to change the way we raise our children. We know that it is possible — challenging, but possible — to bring an end to corporal punishment and emotional abuse of children by awakening humanity to the critical need and capacity to raise our children with kindness and compassion.
I cannot be content to present my analysis of this important issue without offering my best understanding of how to do something about it. The chapter of my book titled, Working Effectively for Change, provides important tools to do so. Plus, I intend to establish a new version of Creating Our Future, this time for both students and adults. I see the founding of a new version of Creating Our Future (a social change action/training organization for students), and forging partnerships with allies already doing this work, as an integral part of building a movement that can begin to bring an end the practice of corporal punishment and other forms of child abuse around the world.
Core Points
- We are all wounded in one way or another.
- Inner wounds are actually mutable stories that can be changed, so that healing can take place.
- These wounds impact all aspects of our lives, what we believe about the world, our personal relations, how we conduct business and government.
- Racism, misogyny, xenophobia, and war as an instrument of foreign policy primarily result from physical abuse of children.
- In the long run, the only way in which we may bring an end to, or greatly reduce racism, misogyny, xenophobia, and war, will be to bring an end, or greatly reduce, corporal punishment of children, and other extreme forms of child abuse.
- If we as humanity (or those who resonate with this analysis) are to work together for a healthy and thriving future (while we also address climate change and the continuing dangers of nuclear war and...), then I fervently believe it behooves us to:
a. Understand the root cause of why so many people act and live dysfunctionally on the micro level with respect to their personal lives and on the macro level by being dysfunctional in terms of the environment, governance, international relations, ideological beliefs manifesting as racism, xenophobia, misogyny, and bizarre conspiracy theories
b. Make use of good meeting process and meeting skills to enhance our capacity to organize and work together, and from that shared understanding be able to work collaboratively and effectively towards solutions.
My Daily Prayer
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Holy Mother, Divine Father, Infinite Creator
With form, beyond form, within me, beyond me Heal me Body, mind, and spirit That I may have The strength, capacity, and vigor To do the work before me Bless, protect, and guide me That I may be a radiant example Of how to live as a conscious human being May thy light, thy power, and thy truth Flow through this form Unhampered, untrammeled, unblocked By wounds, fears, or desires |
May my written word
My spoken word And my presence Be awakening, compelling, and charismatic Awakening humanity To the nature of our wounds and their healing To the need and capacity To raise our children with kindness and compassion And work together with wisdom and skill May I be of service Towards our becoming a mature species Living in harmony With one another And our environment |
